Filed under: Haha | Tags: Bejeweled, Bookworm, Conkerer, Crossword, Dictionary, Games, Pink, Protologism, Puzzle, Shockwave.com, Twelve, Word Search, Words, Xenoglossy
About a month ago ( maybe more, I’m not keeping track) I was sitting at my boyfriends computer playing some word game on Shockwave.com. His roommate came in and asked what I was doing to which I simply replied “Playing some word game…”. He paused for a moment then asked “Why are girls always doing crossword puzzles and word game things?! I don’t understand!” Yes, Brian. You did say this. And I still remember it every time I do a crossword puzzle. Anyway, on this disgusting rainy, cloudy day in Maui (yes, even Maui has shit weather.) I decided now would be a great time to conquer another set of word puzzles. But now, I’m lost. I still have Brian nagging in the back or my brain “Whhhhyy“. While I do not know the exact answer to this question, I can say on behalf of myself, that it’s entertaining. Not just the brightly colored animation sequences or the cute little sounds the computer squeaks out every time you get an answer correct, but it’s my curiosity that gets me. I mean, there’s only so many words you use every day. How about when you’re given a chosen set of letters that don’t make sense when put together and are forced (by a little clock in the right hand corner) to make 185 words in 3 minutes? It’s amazing what you come up with just by guessing. So in my astonishment that Xenoglossy, Protologism, and Conkerer are actual words; Yes, I am thoroughly entertained. This…this is why I enjoy my crosswords, word searches, text twists, brain teasers, bookworm adventures and occasionally a Bejeweled game. I enjoy the ego boost of learning new words that absolutely mean nothing to anyone except for me. And possibly my dictionary. Which is another reason I like to play these games. It gives me a chance to use the dictionary I bought just because it was a psychedelic shade of pink.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: a&e, beth, bounty, bugsy, crazy, dog, duane, hunter, kids, rufus, suv, tv
Sometimes when I’m home alone (which is a frequent happening) I like to pretend that my boyfriend and I are like Dog and Beth from that TV show Dog: the Bounty Hunter. I don’t know why, really…but I’d like to think that as a couple we’d kick some major felon ass. With Greg being the wisecracking but understandable yet outspoken alpha male; I’d complement his ways with my know-it-all stance and impatience for the incompetent. I could see us riding around in the Denali, or Suburban, or Yukon (whatever SUV they drive) with our mightiest kids backing us up. Every afternoon I’d approach Greg with a new crook who just jumped a $20,000 to $50,000 bail and claim that this idiot just got his hands into some very hot water. In normal situations we’d get the Girlfriend to help us entrap this motherfucker, but today, oh boy, we gotta get the guy’s mistress to help us catch him. I can see it now:
ME: Rufus, honey, we got ourselves a real winner here hun.
GREG(from here on out known as RUFUS: THE BOUNTY HUNTER [rawr!]): Oh, yeah? Lemme hear it. Height? Weight? Local? Does he have tattoos or birthmarks?
ME: Hmmm, jumped a $35,000 bond and last known he was dabbling in dat ice, yeah? Melman’s got the info…
MELMAN (Our son with the ponytail): Yeah dah, he’s 5’6” about 157 pounds, dark hair and gots a devil tattooed on his back, yeah.
RUFUS: (writing on the whiteboard) All right, folks lets see if we can catch this brotha. He into that ice, he knows it ain’t no good…
ME: Can we go already…? Why are you wasting our time? I’ll be in the car, hurry up.
RUFUS: Woman, I gotta make sure we got all the facts on this guy before –
ME: Would you just hurry the fuck up? All you’re gonna do is write on that board, he could be sitting at Wal-Mart as we speak in Kahu–
RUFUS: Bugsy…please don’t speak to me in that tone. You know I don’t like it when you speak to me like that while in front of the camera.
ME: Get yer ass in that damn car. NOW!
And off we go searching for ice heads and bail jumpers. Of course….in reality…I’d be a much smaller version of Beth…Greg wouldn’t have fathered 10 kids from other relationships, our children would have non hyphenated names, oh and I’d be his first wife not his fifth. Or seventh. Thirteenth? I also imagine our theme song would not be sung by Ozzy Osbourne, but instead The Red Hot Chili Peppers, or maybe Sublime. Also, I would wear the cool sunglasses. Not him. And instead of a prayer before each bounty, we’d sing Stand By Me. And the crooks don’t get a cigarette in the end. No, they get a punch in the face for robbing us of 35 grand and making us have to chase them all over Maui (not O’ahu, or Colorado), and possibly a pat on the back as a “wow, man. You really fucked up this time….” while we place them in the hands of the court. That’ll teach ‘em to never run from RUFUS: THE BOUNTY HUNTING BASS PLAYER. And his awesome wife Bugsy. 
